Kathy's personal experience with Emotional Release and Balancing Technique and Adoption

I was completely unaware for almost 40 years of my life, of the buried emotions from my adoption and how these emotions effected my relationships, my happiness and my life. I did not understand the emptiness, I had felt, at times in my life, began with the loss of my birth parents, the heritage and the identity that I would never know. I was adopted as an infant into an incredibly stable home with siblings and parents who loved me. I had everything I ever needed and most things I ever wanted. I had a happy childhood. All of this could not change the fact that the buried emotions of grief, anger, loss and abandonment that I was unknowingly holding onto in my life, had developed defensive and destructive emotional patterns. These patterns limited my happiness and success in my relationships with others. ERBT allowed me to recognize these patterns and feelings and release them so that I could move forward in my life without these limitations. ERBT brought light to things that had been covered in darkness for many years. This path was sometimes difficult but the results have always been worth the struggle and I have not looked back even once. Mourning the loss of my birth parents allowed me to become reconnected with my spirit. It brought love and acceptance to these two people who created my physical being which lead to acceptance of my true self, physically and spiritually. Not being aware of my own origin made knowing myself difficult. Having anger, resentment or being ambivalent about my feelings made it difficult to love and be certain about myself. Holding onto anger, resentment and disillusionment for my birth parents manifested into these things being turned inward on myself, as these people are part of me.

I came to realize my biological parents gave me things beyond the color of my eyes and my skin. Feelings, emotions and behaviors are both learned and passed on from generation to generation. I believe my birth mother was forced to give me up as she was a pregnant teen in 1969. I can only imagine what she was going through with her family. I carried that shame for her, as my own, for most of my life and did not even realize it. I have carried the powerlessness for my birth father as he was left with no voice. ERBT enabled me to recognize how these buried feeling within my DNA were bringing shame and powerlessness to my current life. Best of all, it allowed me the awareness to see how these feelings were manifesting themselves in my life and process them so that I could bring change to my life. - Kathy Harlow

"Your past and your present do not have to determine your future."


Adoptees: Things to consider

 Adoption has been a part of our existence since our beginnings and is a beautiful union that satisfies a need for all parties. However in our modern world the circumstances around this need are often vastly different than in our beginnings. Children were adopted out of a need, usually due to the death of the birth parents, by relatives or neighbors and raised by people whom their parents often knew and loved. People who encouraged the memory and gave honor to those who had given life to you. Today it has morphed into a business, with private agencies, government entities and religious establishments facilitating adoptions where children are often displaced from their country and their heritage. We have laws that "protect" identities and leave us with nothing more than a fake birth certificate and an anonymous medical record if we are lucky. Often expectations of us are to forget about those who created us and move on with our new life "Why should we be curious about those people who did not want us anyway?" Our modern society has also become obsessed with many all consuming behaviors that encourage and allow us to avoid processing difficult feelings. We are encouraged to be constantly connected to our jobs and others allowing little time for self reflection. It provides us with medications that allow us to ignore the reasons we feel sad, depressed or anxious. We simply don't take the time or put importance on the process of mourning losses. This has set us up for a discord in our society's belief system for processing grief. The understanding of processing grief for birth parents you never physically knew, is simple beyond comprehension for most of society.

Did you ever feel responsible to keep your feelings about being adopted to yourself as not to hurt your family? It can be difficult for the adoptive family to understand such needs. Many adoptees feel guilt and will not express feelings about their biological families because they do not want to bring hurt to their adopted families. I find many adults still feel that way.

Have you always thought you were just fine with being adopted? Me too, until I wasn't. My adoptive father was diagnosed with late stage lung cancer and this began my journey to awareness. I had made it my whole life without losing anyone I cared about, I should say, I made sure of it. That was my personal defense mechanism, there are many versions. Now, all of a sudden I had no control over it.

Their are multiple scientific studies regarding traumas in children at young ages and the impact that can have on their lives as adults, because normal methods of dealing with trauma have not been developed. Verbal skills are not present as a way to express pain; therefore compassion and sympathy are not being provided and these feelings and pain are simply buried. The feelings and emotions from the trauma are stored in your subconscious memory and will stay there effecting your life until they are recognized and processed. Buried feelings have impact at any age, but at these very young ages it can totally distort your perspective of love, trust and happiness.

Acceptance and awareness allows you to process and give forgiveness. Forgiveness is our tool to bring freedom to our spirit, not to excuse the behaviors of others. Once this process begins you will feel your relationships improve and your life become more clear. You are no longer in denial of your true beginning and you will be able to let go of feelings of guilt.

I found Emotional Polarity Technique to be a very effective tool at bringing buried emotions and defense mechanisms to the surface, so that they could be processed and released.

If you are interested in booking an Emotional Polarity session or have questions about a support group please contact:

Kathy Harlow, LMT, Emotional Release and Balancing Technique Practitioner

4412 Carver Woods Drive, Suite 204

Blue Ash, OH 45242


[email protected]

or click here to be directed to her calendar with up to date availability.

Read about all the therapy provided by Live To Be Restored:

Adoption Consultation Adoption Advocacy Adoption Awareness

Adoption Consultation Adoption Advocacy Adoption Awareness

Adoption Consultation Adoption Advocacy Adoption Awareness

Adoption Consultation Adoption Advocacy Adoption Awareness